{"id":9060,"date":"2019-11-13T00:00:19","date_gmt":"2019-11-13T00:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/glohs.hk\/?p=9060"},"modified":"2020-08-03T08:30:20","modified_gmt":"2020-08-03T08:30:20","slug":"please-stop-telling-someone-not-to-cry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glohs.hk\/zh-hant\/please-stop-telling-someone-not-to-cry\/","title":{"rendered":"Please Stop Telling Someone Not To Cry"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"9060\" class=\"elementor elementor-9060\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-66f51124 elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-items-middle\" data-id=\"66f51124\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div 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data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7dc255b4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"7dc255b4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-a475e37 elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"datePublished\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/glohs.hk\/zh-hant\/2019\/11\/13\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fa fa-calendar\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>13 11 \u6708, 2019<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-676722a elementor-inline-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fa fa-clock-o\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-time\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>12:00 \u4e0a\u5348<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-57cbeeb elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"commentCount\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/glohs.hk\/zh-hant\/please-stop-telling-someone-not-to-cry\/#respond\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fa fa-commenting-o\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-comments\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u6c92\u6709\u8a55\u8ad6\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-25971546 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-title elementor-page-title elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"25971546\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-title.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Please Stop Telling Someone Not To Cry<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-28a18be0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"28a18be0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong>By Dr. Annie Chu<\/strong><\/p><p>Why this topic? Echoing with recent article <a href=\"https:\/\/glohs.hk\/how-do-you-love\">\u201cHow Do You Love?\u201d<\/a>, we do tend to treat others in a way that feels good and convenient to ourselves. No matter how many \u201cCommunication Skills for Dummies\u201d are being published, we rarely say or do the right thing to others especially when the situations demand us to do so.<\/p><p>Witnessing negative emotions, for example extreme sadness, despair and hopelessness make us feel uncomfortable.\u00a0 I am not saying people are not kind and compassionate in general, but very often we just want to see someone switches from a crying madness to a smiley face as soon as possible, be it a crying kid or a sobbing adult, without knowing that it is the most uncompassionate thing to do.<\/p><p>I have a chance to give a talk years ago on the topic of \u201cEffective Communication of Compassion\u201d. I remember showing some photos of a sobbing person looking obviously sad, and asked the attendees what would they say (the first phrase that came to their minds) imagining that person was someone they knew. Popular responses were \u201cWhat happened? Please don\u2019t cry!\u201d, \u201cPlease calm down first and let me know what happened.\u201d. And when they were asked to write down the most common phrases they tend to say to comfort someone in distress, \u201cJust take it easy\u201d, \u201cIt may not be as bad as you think\u201d, \u201cDon\u2019t worry, you can get through this!\u201d. We are so accustomed to these socially-accepted responses we usually use them like a knee-jerk reaction. However, from the point of view of the recipient, are those words really providing comfort?<\/p><p>From my experience dealing with cancer patients with prolonged emotional distress or patients with depression, one of the triggers of their sense of self-deprecation actually come from things being said by their closed ones when they are already \u201cdown in the dumps\u201d. They often share with me how they really perceive these responses.<\/p><table cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\"><tbody><tr><td valign=\"top\"><p><b>What Have Been Said \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/b><\/p><\/td><td valign=\"top\"><p><b>What Have Been Perceived<\/b><\/p><\/td><\/tr><tr><td valign=\"top\"><p>-Shh\u2026Don\u2019t cry please<\/p><\/td><td valign=\"top\"><p>-Don\u2019t cry , at least not in front of me<\/p><p>-I cannot handle your meltdown<\/p><\/td><\/tr><tr><td valign=\"top\"><p>-Calm down first, there\u2019s no need to cry, we can talk<\/p><\/td><td valign=\"top\"><p>-I don\u2019t think you have experienced anything that is worth your tears<\/p><p>-I cannot deal with your tears<\/p><\/td><\/tr><tr><td valign=\"top\"><p>-You are looking at things too negatively again. -Just Take it Easy. It may not be as bad as you think<\/p><p>&#8211;<\/p><\/td><td valign=\"top\"><p>-You are exaggerating AGAIN<\/p><\/td><\/tr><tr><td valign=\"top\"><p>-Don\u2019t worry, you will find a way!<\/p><\/td><td valign=\"top\"><p>-You can and should be able to fix it yourself<\/p><\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><p>Sometimes when situations are tough and we really do not have much to offer, try one thing.\u00a0 Don\u2019t jump straight to trying to give someone a solution. Instead, offer your presence, a pat on the shoulder, a hug, or sit next to the person for as long as they need when crying out loud is the best thing to do. Non-judgmental company often suffices. Most of the time, the person in distress do not need someone to offer a solution, they may just be crying for your help and support to gather the strength to execute that.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-96dbdd4 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"96dbdd4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-75c6ba44 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"75c6ba44\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">More to explore<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-45a9507d elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"45a9507d\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-473be9b9\" data-id=\"473be9b9\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Dr. Annie Chu Why this topic? Echoing with recent ar [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9061,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_canvas","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[157,76],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-contributor","category-members-only-posts"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Please Stop Telling Someone Not To Cry - GLOHS Organic Skincare &amp; Health Products<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/glohs.hk\/please-stop-telling-someone-not-to-cry\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"zh_TW\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Please Stop Telling Someone Not To Cry - GLOHS Organic Skincare &amp; Health Products\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Dr. Annie Chu Why this topic? 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