By Sonia Samtani<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It might sound like I\u2019m talking about ice cream, but what I\u2019m really talking about is what
version of \u201cI\u2019m not good enough\u201d are you most used to feeling? You may notice I\u2019m not
even asking if you\u2019ve felt not good enough, I\u2019m pre-supposing that you have, and I\u2019
inviting you to see what your personal \u201cflavour\u201d is (you know, the one that hijacks your
thoughts most often). It could be \u201cI\u2019m not attractive enough, not rich enough, not smart
enough, not thin enough, not liked enough, not popular enough, not capable enough,
not normal enough, not successful enough\u201d, and the list goes on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Since judgment is such a big part of our lives, self-judgment is bound to come up, and
hence feeling not good enough in some way is an inevitable part of life. It\u2019s what we do
about it that will make a difference. Most people are conditioned to believe that it\u2019s
wrong to feel this way, and develop coping mechanisms to try and deal with it. One
such coping mechanism is denial; pretending to the world that we have never had a
self-deprecating thought and overcompensating by trying to prove to everyone how
wonderful we are \u2013 sadly everyone else can see this illusion except us. Other times we
may take these judgmental thoughts as \u2018the truth\u2019 and believe that we really are not
good enough, which makes our self-esteem spiral down and we attract situations that
give us more evidence to believe it. In both cases the self-critical thoughts are still
governing our actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps another way out would be to accept and understand that these feelings are a
\u2018normal\u2019 part of life, and when they do come up, look at that part of you with compassion
and acceptance. Accept that \u201ca part of me feels this way because I have judged it, and I
give that part of me love and acceptance\u201d. Doing this immediately takes away the power
of those thoughts, plus you don\u2019t have to believe in them or overcompensate for them,
just watch and accept. Above all, know that despite all this mind-chatter, you are good
enough!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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