By Sonia Samtani
We all know that life is a ride of up’s and down’s. Some days we’re pinching ourselves to see if the beauty around us is real, and some days everything feels like it’s falling apart. It’s easy to accept when things are good, however when things seem not-so-great, do you allow yourself to acknowledge that without judging or needing to fix it?
Most of us have an unconscious tendency to judge ourselves when we feel sad or frustrated. We tell ourselves that we shouldn’t feel anything that isn’t ‘good’, and moreover when someone else says they are feeling down we say things like “don’t feel like that”! Have you ever stopped feeling down because someone has said “don’t feel it”? The feeling doesn’t go away. In fact, it makes you feel something else on top of down – now you are down plus guilty for not being okay, or down plus angry at them for judging you.
In this sense, judging yourself for feeling upset is just going to add another layer to the upset, and this package gets stored in your subconscious mind and body. I am not suggesting to indulge your story that’s making you feel like a victim so you feel more righteous about it. Instead, I am inviting you to observe your feelings without judgment, acknowledge that you are feeling a certain way and have space for that, and finally give that part of you some love and acceptance.
This allows us to feel safe so we can finally release the uncomfortable feelings from our system and be complete with the experience. Next time when you hear someone saying they are upset or angry, I invite you to just hear them out from a place of understanding (without indulging their story or trying to change how they feel).